Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
