Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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