Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This house was built for laser tag.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
