remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
