I hate all girls vehemently.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
