People with herpes should wear stickers.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize