Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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