i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
