How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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