THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize