problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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