My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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