I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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