Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize