Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
