Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize