This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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