i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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