Can Purell be used as lube?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
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