Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I CAN MOONWALK!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
