if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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