I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
