I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
