Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
