Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Someone shattered a urinal.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
