This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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