I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
