officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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