Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize