her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
