we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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