i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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