I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
