The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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