After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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