We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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