Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
