How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
