i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
