dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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