Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Randomize
