I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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