I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
