Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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