drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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