I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
