How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
