Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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(404): View more from Georgia

It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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(323): View more from California

I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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(310): View more from California

That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

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(520): View more from Arizona

She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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(770): View more from Georgia

woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Did you put my shoes in the freezer.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.

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