Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize