I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
