it was like his penis was on wheels.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
