Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
