It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize