He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
