Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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