I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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