he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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