I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
