After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
