we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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