he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize