I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
