all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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