You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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