I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
