Already got asked if we're dating
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
