I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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