No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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