the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
