I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
