If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
