she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
