He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
