He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
