Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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